Via io9 comes the shattering news that the Jaws ride at Universal Studios is now closed, leaving me only with this YouTube video to virtually experience the ride I've wanted to go on since I was like 10.

I knew that Bruce came after you and I knew that there was a boat but I had no idea that they built, like, a whole Amity Island and stuff. This is horrible.

This also means that I must significantly accelerate my plans to go on the Jurassic Park ride— preferably Jurassic Park in the Dark—to as soon as humanly possible. I thought I had time with the Jaws ride, and now look at where I am. NOT ON THE JAWS RIDE, IS WHERE I AM.

(And no, in case you were wondering, I have still not been to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, a fact that kick-starts my depression each and every morning.)