500 MILLIONAIRE—You may remember Tony Millionaire from the back of this newspaper. Go look! Millionaire's strip Maakies is one of the most popular weekly comic strips in North America. His new book 500 Portraits collects two decades of beautiful, funny portrait work. Millionaire appears in person to sign books and talk about his art. SS
Floating World Comics, 400 NW Couch, 6-10 pm, FREE

KOBE SUCKS—The Lakers didn't get what they wanted this off-season, after Godfather Stern took their Chris Paul trade away. Wah. We lost Brandon Roy and Greg Oden on the same day! Blazers vs. Lakers is always an event, when the city of Portland looks to leave a sneaker in the collective rectum of Los Angeles, and this year, we've got some extra resentment to work out. BR
Rose Garden, 1 Center Court, 7:30 pm, $50-265