OMG... an apology! An actual I, Anonymous apology! They're as rare as a unicorn with a Bart Simpson tattoo!! Check out this submission called: "I'm Sorry I Hit Your Car and Drove Away."

I was going about 90 miles an hour somewhere in residential SE and blew through a couple stop signs, slammed on my brakes, spun into your parked car — which probably stopped me from flipping over. Amazingly, I was able to drive away. Sorry about that.

Well, that's very nice, and I appreciate... wait. There's more?

Also, sorry for being too drunk to have sex with you for, oh, several years.

Okay, ummm... I guess I forgive you, and... THERE'S MORE??

I apologize for throwing up in your yard, or stuffing beer cans and wine bottles in your bushes.

AND THERE'S EVEN MORE??? Fuck you, and fuck your apology, dude! That was my favorite bush!! Sheesh. If you've got a lot to be sorry for, why not apologize for everything all at once, right here in the I Anonymous Blog: "Where all will be forgiven, my child."