I am inured to the heartbreak that sets in upon seeing the racks of Night Train, Thunderbird, and Cisco at my local bodega. This recently-discovered product set off a whole different sort of tracheal sympathy-spasm, though:

ChocoVine. A great alternative to having nine dollars, this beverage—which is billed as a competitor to Bailey’s—is an exciting new blend of cabernet…and chocolate. “Perfect for the purist,” says their website. Remember that epicurean archetype of the sophisticate who dumps candy into their wine? Me either. Anyhow, if anyone sends us a bottle (we’re over budget for the month after discovering Tillamook’s new Double-Chunk Cheddarlager), we promise to do something really weird with it and post a photo.