There Goes the Block Party: Three Brazilian cannibals are arrested for turning the flesh of their victims into empanadas and selling them to unsuspecting neighbors.

Footloose, in Real Life: In an attempt to lower crime rates and joy, a Florida town bans nightclubs, dance halls and skating rinks. Where is Kevin Bacon now?

Counting Chickens: Nine months before his potential victory, Mitt Romney's already offering fancy inauguration access passes to donors who dish out $50,000.

Breaking: Meanwhile, zoo enthusiast Newt Gingrich is nipped by a penguin at the St. Louis Zoo before a National Rifle Association conference.

Silent No Longer: Four enlisted women deemed "crazy" by the US military speak out on the hundreds of unreported and overlooked rape cases in the military.

Shazam: This British guy says a stroke turned him gay.

Southern Shakedown: A 6.7 earthquake rattles central Chile, leaving little destruction in its wake.

School, Please: Parents and teachers beg Portland Public Schools to keep Humboldt and Harriet Tubman schools on the map.

Cycle Skates from the Past! ...and hopefully the future.