GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! And I just love your flashy ways, guess that's why they broke and you so paid. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Vice President Joe Biden is absolutely okay with gay marriage. SAY THE WORDS, OBAMA.

The president's education secretary publicly endorses gay marriage. SAY THE WORDS, OBAMA.

Vladimir Putin returns as the Russian president, and everybody is completely okay with that. No, they're not.

Meanwhile in France, François Hollande is elected president, and freaks out the rest of Europe by saying he's going to veer away from the country's harsh austerity measures. Starting with this baguette. Mmmm... très bon.

Turns out that a military officer in Afghanistan who died while Skyping with his wife was NOT shot as previously believed. This proves my theory that nobody wants to be the first murderer who kills somebody on Skype.

A hostage of al-Qaida begs the president to meet the terrorists' demands or he will be killed. Okay, I'm a terrible person for saying this... but... dude! Those are a LOT of demands!

Rest in peace, Goober Pyle (actor George Lindsey from The Andy Griffith Show). He leaves behind one cousin, Gomer.

A man from the Dalles is arrested for drinking beer in the passenger seat while his 10-year-old son drove. Hey, he was helping him steer!

A rich gang of Lake O Republicans are spending tons of money to buy their boys into office, and stop what they call "Portland Creep" or Portland ethics and style creeping into Clackamas County. PLEASE LET ME BE VERY CLEAR. Let's pool our money to build a wall to keep us out, and you people in. Nothing would make me happier. (BTW, no more using the Sellwood Bridge to get to your job in Portland. Maybe you can be a greeter at Walmart?)

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: GORGEOUS AND WARM TODAY! And the rest of the week doesn't look too shabby, either!

And finally, a judge sexts a man's wife with a nearly-nudie photo of himself—and is proud of his game! BUT! That's not even the best part, check out your favorite new reporter: Charlie Leduff of Fox 2 Detroit. Local TV? HIRE THIS GUY!