Heathers Teqkillya tries to edge around devoted daughter and High Roller Texine.

So much roller derby happened, guys, but here's what you need to know: The still-undefeated High Rollers and the Break Neck Betties each won! They're set to go head-to-head for first place at the 2012 Rose City Rollers Championships on June 2 at Memorial Coliseum. Which means the Heartless Heathers and Guns N Rollers will duke it out for third. While the games weren't precisely blowouts, gameplay was looking a little lopsided at both Friday and Saturday's games.

The Heathers held an early-game lead until the one-two punch of HR's Napoleon Blownapart (whose dog is missing!!!) and Honey Hellfire ticked up 30 points on the scoreboard. Then in the second half, Sully Skullkicker strapped on her skull-kicking skates with a 15-point and then a 20-point jam. Ouch. The final stinger: Heathers lost ace blocker French Tickler to penalties. Final: High Rollers 176, Heartless Heathers 92.

Guns N Rollers had a slow start to the game on Saturday, lagging behind the score-machines known as the Break Neck Betties. The Betties looked pretty unstoppable out there, but GNR jammer Scald Eagle nailed a 20-point jam at the top of the second half to bring the rock 'n' rollers within striking distance of a tie, only to have the Betties' D. Konstructor see her 20-point jam and raise it by... oh, a shit-ton (shit-ton = 52 more points by the final whistle). But like Scald's pulse-pounding last-minute rally at the Chicago game, she strapped on a jetpack during the last jam to get an outstanding 30 points. It wasn't enough to give GNR the victory, but it was amazing nonetheless. Final: Break Neck Betties 179, Guns N Rollers 125.

Some other tidbits from the weekend on wheels: SoulFearic Acid does just fine on seven wheels—a lost wheel ain't no big thang. Scald Eagle likes her last-minute hail-mary jams. Joyride can shoot the duck while giving out high-fives to the entire Guns N Rollers team. Untamed Shrew knows how to rock a hot-pink leopard full-body unitard. With about 30 years in age difference, Toxic Haste (who has to be 18 or 19) vs. Minstrel Psycho (you wouldn't know it, but she's fiftysomething) makes for a great jammer face-off.

More of Sharkey's awesome pictures after the jump, and don't miss your chance to see the #4-ranked Denver Roller Girls take on our awesome #3-ranked Rose City Rollers this weekend out at the Hangar. Kick their mile-high asses!

Heathers Toxic Haste gives the eye to High Rollers Minstrel Psycho.

I hope the Heathers MVP Headache took some preventative aspirin. She may be tiny, but Penny Dreadful can hit hard.
  • Masonite Burn (AKA Sharkey)
  • I hope the Heathers' MVP Headache took some preventative aspirin. She may be tiny, but Penny Dreadful can hit hard.