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[Editor's Note: Up-and-comer comedian/actor Alex Falcone—who you've seen perform with Action/Adventure theater, as well in the live talk show Late Night Action w/ Alex Falcone—will be furnishing semi-regular updates from the road to give us an inside peek at the real life of a struggling comic. Want more Alex? Check out his website and his podcast Read It and Weep—a funny show about bad books, movies, and TV.]

MERCH? I LOVE YA!

Friday, June 15th - The Internet

Remember how I told you my job was mostly e-mailing and calling people and begging for work? Sometimes work just e-mails me out of the blue and offers itself. This feels closer to magic than David Blaine and a child's laugh combined.

Today I got a message from Bumbershoot—the gigantic music/arts festival in Seattle that you've certainly already heard of so why am I bothering to explain it to you—asking me to bring my hilarious and well received podcast to their stage this September. Holy crap. This'll be our second live show of the summer after our Shark Spectacular here in Portland July 7th, and it'll be the biggest one we've ever done. And unlike our show in Portland, this one will be PART OF BUMBERSHOOT! It's not like we're opening for Gotye and Tony Bennett exactly, but on September 1st there will be a wristband that can get you into all three.

This is so incredibly exciting I can't tell you in words alone. So please observe this image:

bumbershoot.jpg

MORE AFTER THE JUMP, INCLUDING $30!!!

Friday, June 15th - Tacoma, WA
Merch, you are awesome! I take back everything bad I ever said about you. You are the best. I like you so much I feel like I'm emotionally cheating.

Okay, maybe that's too excited to get over $30, but it's 30 FREE dollars. $30 that feel like they just appeared in my wallet. $30 people gave me in exchange for the right to advertise me. It's pretty rad.

In truth, I don't know how many people really wanted to buy a sticker because they thought it was hilarious, how many just liked that it had the word "boob" on it (there are other words too, pervert), or how many wanted to show their support for me. The beautiful thing is, my $30 doesn't care. When I rub it on my face it feels just as wonderful no matter the original reason it was given to me.

Then I'll wash my face because germs are gross and I'll still have $30! My life is awesome.

Before I had stickers to sell, people came up to me and said that if I had something for sale, they'd buy it. Not "if you had shirts in my size and a funny enough slogan on it I'd buy it"—just something. They had money and wanted to give it to me provided I could give them ANYTHING in return. I'm awfully glad I finally got anything so I could give it to them.

My fiancee had an awesome idea too, which was that if anybody follows me on Facebook or Twitter from their phone before they leave the building they could get a sticker for free. In addition to my $30, I also gained a handful of new friends. If I can just replicate this success 40 weekends a year (a common amount of touring for a full time comedian) I'd make an extra $2,400 and be moderately popular. Then Gotye and Tony Bennett will have to open for me.