GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! You're still a super hot female, you got a million dollar contract, and they're all waiting for your hot track. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Crybaby liar Mittens Romney slams Obama for his attacks, yet still refuses to release his tax forms. Birthers, where are you now?!

Sources tell the New York Post that disgraced former sexter Anthony Weiner is thinking about running for mayor.

Egyptian protesters throw tomatoes at Hillary Clinton's motorcade, chanting "Monica! Monica!" (Hey, you idiots!! That's not "Monica," that's... oh. I get it now.)

It's official: the 16-month old conflict in Syria has now been designated a "civil war," which means—hellooooo war crime tribunals!

Ugh and UGGGHH!!

Sylvester Stallone's 36-year-old son Sage is dead. :(

Microsoft is taking the "MS" out of "MSNBC."

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Possible afternoon thundershowers today and tomorrow, but getting back to mid-70s gorgeousity by mid-week.

And finally, wait... you can now get MASHED POTATOES AND GRAVY from Slurpee-style machines in 7-11?? OMG. It is truly a wondrous time in which we live.