I'm driving up to Seattle tomorrow for the Capitol Hill Block Party, but if I hadn't been previously committed I would be gearing up to throw down hard at tomorrow's first-ever Greaseball Picnic, headquartered at Club 21 and its vast surrounding parking lots. Although much of it caters to gearheads—it's a "chops and rods" show including vendors and swaps—there is mucho fun to be had for red blooded Americans of all stripes, especially those ready to drop their PC nattering and blow off some steam, low-brow style.

Overtly making an effort to be "sleazy", the programmers are bringing you such primal delights as bikini suds wrestling, strippers in dunk tanks, airbrushing and pinstriping, burnouts (no doubt of both the vehicular and human varieties), hot dogs, a "50ccs of Death" six-lap mini bike race (sounds fatal), and a Ms. Greaseball pin-up contest. Plus, of course, there is an all-day, all-night lineup of Portland's sleaziest rock acts: Pitchfork Motorway, Gunroom Melodies, Bitchschool, The Crag Dwellers, The Pynnacles, The Lordy Lords, and Ghostwriter. It all starts at 11 am and runs till 9, so trim your tees into belly shirts accordingly.