Hurrah! An episode practically devoted to our favorite Breaking Bad character Mike! You love Mike, too, don't you? If you don't, I'll pay him $10,000 to kill you!! But he probably won't—especially since you kind of look like his granddaughter. He's smushy like that. WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHITTY-CHAT ABOUT THIS FURTHER? Then come on, let's chitty-chat about last night's Breaking Bad! After the jump!

Ha-Ha, Mike totally wouldnt ever kill me... right? Right?
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Ha-Ha, Mike totally wouldn't ever kill me... right? Right?"


So here's what I'm thinking...

1) THAT WAS KIND OF A CONFUSING EPISODE. Lots of tiny things went down, and if you weren't paying attention, things might seem sort of unfathomable. Here's the breakdown, though.

2) Bro-in-law Hank is inching ever closer to Walt and his investigation nabs the head of Madrigal Electromotive—a Kraut firm that supplied some sort of machinery or something to Gus' operation. Lucky Krautsie had previously figured out how to kill himself with a defibrillator—otherwise, he may have had to kill himself by some other means... like maybe a gun? Krauts are dumb and really overcomplicate things.

3) Walt switches out the real Riacin in the cigarette with salt—ALSO BAD FOR YOU, GUYS! And plants it in the Roomba vacuum cleaner. Jess bawls and apologizes for falsely accusing him, and Mike correctly scolds Jess for hooking up with this dangerous borderline sociopath in the first place. BTW, is Walt still "borderline"? Or has he already crossed over? YOU BE THE JUDGE.

4) Speaking of Mike, during Hank's questioning we find out that Mike used to be a bad cop out of Philly named "Mike Ehrmantrout" and that his granddaughter has a (now frozen) $2 million account in the Cayman Islands—JUST LIKE MITT ROMNEY, THAT LITTLE BITCH!! Anyway, dollars to doughnuts we'll learn what horrible thing Mike did to get kicked off the force—and please, please, please let Mike get a spin-off!

5) New girl in town! Her name's Lydia and also used to work for Madrigal Electromotive (dibs on that band name, btw), and she wants everybody who knows anything about her DEAD, DEAD, DEAD. Mike unsuccessfully tries to convince her that his men are "solid"—which they're obviously not because she easily pays off one of them to kill Chow and attempt to kill Mike. Luckily for Mike he steals his granddaughter's toys and uses his super speed to foil the assassin. (Look. The granddaughter can afford another mechanical pig. SHE HAS $2 MILLION IN THE CAYMAN ISLANDS, FOR CHRISSAKES.) Seriously, how did Mike get around the back of the house and sneak up on him so fast?? (Shrug.) Ah, the mysteries of television.

6) Anyway that scene where Mike tries to kill Lydia was AWESOME, and shows what a softie he is. I hope he kills her later on though—she seems like a bad mother to me.

7) Skyler needs to come to terms with her moral ambiguity already! She has two jobs as of this point: 1) Open the carwash on time. Give Walt the occasional handy. IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

8) What else? I dunno. GOOD EPISODE! Lots of set-up for the coming season, and some new characters to chew on. WHAT DID YOU THINK?

WAIT... now which is the Riacin, which is the salt, and which is the coke?
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "WAIT... now which is the Riacin, which is the salt, and which is the coke?"