PERETTI—Chelsea Peretti's had a hand in some of your favorite TV shows (Parks and Rec, Louie), she's twice as smart as you are, and her stand-up is full of wicked-sharp observations about what it's like to be a woman with a "weird attractiveness level." Ladies, bring your boyfriends—they might learn something. AH
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 7:30 & 10 pm, $15-25

—Matt Dillon and Heather Graham's characters in Drugstore Cowboy would have loved tonight's screening of the film under the moon on the roof of the Hotel deLuxe. With the crowd enthralled by Gus Van Sant's classic film of Pacific Northwest junkie life, the pair would have the perfect chance do a little hustling, picking up some purses, Prius keys, and hotel towels. SM
w/Brooks Robertson; Hotel deLuxe, 729 SW 15th, music starts at 8 pm, $9