Mass shootings are on everyone's mind these days. It was the first thing most of us thought about when we heard the early, sketchy reports of this morning's disgruntled-employee-shootout-with-the-cops in New York City.

Thankfully, our own local police force has been thinking about safety, too.


Take a look! (Unless you have PTSD!)

Who's behind this video? Since I'm guessing you didn't make it to the end, here's a spoiler.


Okay. But will running, hiding, and then fighting—i.e. cowering and trembling in vain while you clutch an office chair—really keep you and your perfectly diverse crew of office-mates from being mowed down like a dim flock of dodo birds? NO. SORRY. BECAUSE...

Let's consult a grown man who wears a bowling shirt and drinks from a Superman cup. YOU SHOULD BRING YOUR OWN GUN "SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUN OR HIDE!" DUH.

What kind of gun should you bring? Erik Henriksen, the Mercury's "senior editor," found this video, called himself a "hero," and insisted I give him credit if I posted it. And, well, so let it be written, so let it be done.