What's all this then? A common grocery store employee? JUDGING ME?!?

Indeed, fair beer aisle shoppers. The people who stock those shelves and happily offer recommendations also harbor some level of disdain for the clueless AND fanboys alike. Not that we expect you to care, but we're looking at you, "Pliny The Elder-guy"... you come in with hopeful eyes, much like the ones you donned 30 years ago at a Toys R' Us as you turned down the Cabbage Patch aisle. Scarcity is a bitch, but also one hell of a marketing ploy. I love Pliny as much as the next guy, but WE LIVE ON THE FUCKING WEST COAST. You can't find another 574 readily-available imperial IPAs that knock your socks off? Please stop asking for it and patronize one of the many great breweries located nearby.

HOW DARE YOU, PEASANT? It's become increasingly apparent that I shall be buying my Keystone Ice at another establishment. Good day, sir. I SAID, "GOOD! DAY!" (Oh, and if you have a confession or rant you'd like to get off your chest, submit it to the I, Anonymous Blog: The sounding board of the working class!)