VHS—Seattle's beloved Scarecrow Video is coming to Portland—for a one-night-only presentation of weird crap culled from their massive VHS collection! All of it's grouped around the theme Sports, Leisure, and Videotape, and we'll leave it at this: Both "the human drama of athletic competition" and "full-frontal male nudity" are promised. EH
Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $7

CANCELLED THIS IS WAR—Because it is the only truly useful information on the planet (and beyond!), tonight's trivia battle will consist only of Star Wars-related facts! The Mercury is putting forth our most formidable team of asthmatic weaklings to retain the championship crown, which has been, is, and ever shall be OURS. Proof: Their team name is Samuel L. Jaxxon. MS
Eagles Lodge, 4904 SE Hawthorne, 8 pm, FREE