So I get an email from somebody—I forget who—that asked, "Hey, do you want the second season DVD of Portlandia that will be officially released on September 25 (also in Blu Ray)?" And without thinking, I replied, "Sure." (I caught chlamydia under very similar circumstances.) Anyway, I forgot completely about it until it showed up in my mailbox today, and I was all like, "UGHH! I don't want this!" But then I remembered laughing at that long line of dummies outside the Hollywood Theatre waiting to see last season's premiere episode on the big screen, and I was like... "Waitasecond... maybe someone might actually want this terrible thing!" So I dug it out of the recycling (Question: Should I put it in with paper, glass or compost?), and wrote this blog post, hoping you'd take it off my hands. THE END.

Oh, wait. I haven't done the contest yet. OKAY, HERE'S THE CONTEST! Would you like the new Portlandia Season Two two-disc DVD for your very own? Email me here, and put "I'll be nice and take that Portlandia DVD off your hands. GROSS!" in the subject line. (If you win, I'll email you back for your address.) Contest ends at noon tomorrow (Tuesday) because I'll be bored by then. Hurry up—it's just sitting on my desk, and it makes me depressed to look at it.

UPDATE: Some kind Blogtown soul has agreed to take the DVD off my hands. The contest is over, and thanks for playing!