It's been many a moon since we saw some hot live roller derby action. Personally, I'm still bumming hard because the Rose City Rollers' all-star Wheels of Justice got bumped out of advancing to Championships at the West Region Playoffs last month. All the pretty Pegacorn fans were crying into their beers that day. (But big changes are in the works for next year—no more playoffs based on geography, it'll be based on rankings. We're getting a roller derby meritocracy!) This weekend, the games are mostly for funsies—exhibition and fundraiser style—although Sunday sees the junior roller derby teams pairing up for their first-ever championships! But before we get to underage brutality, let's break this weekend down in chrono order:

Tonight is the high-flyin' butt-rockers of the Guns N Rollers playing a team from Seattle's Rat City Rollergirls, the Throttle Rockets, in a fundraising game. I'm not super familiar with the intergalactic-themed Throttle Rockets, but the skaters on Portland's Guns N Rollers are crowd favorites in all their pink-and-black leopard-skin fabulousness. Guns N Rollers vs. Seattle's Throttle Rockets, Fri Oct 19, The Hangar at Oaks Park, 8 pm, $10-16, looks dangerously close to being sold out

Saturday night is a blockbuster game that pits Portland's newest rostered skaters (not a slouch in the bunch) against Salem's B travel team, the Bone Yard Brawlers. This should be a fun game with great skaters from all four of your favorite Portland home teams banding together to put the hurt on Salem. Based on the talent level of our "rookies," I think Cherry City might be nursing sore fannies on the car ride home. Portland Rookies vs. Salem, Sat Oct 20, The Hangar at Oaks Park, 6 pm, $14-20, tix

And now the showdown I'm pretty stoked for: Portland's junior roller derby gals, the Rosebuds, have four home teams just like their big gal counterparts. Sunday they'll be hitting it out in a doubleheader: Undead Avengers vs. Rainbow Bites for third place. Then Death Scar Derby Dames vs. Little Red Riveters for first place. I feel like I constantly make this point, but the junior roller derby skaters are SO MUCH fun to watch. They're talented, enthusiastic, and have an amazing grasp of costumes, strategy, and the mechanics of going fast as hell. Rosebuds Playoffs, Sun Oct 21, The Hangar at Oaks Park, 12:30 pm, $7 (available at the door, cash only), sorry boozehounds—this is a dry event