Life could be worse. We could be watching evening news programs and syndicated game shows in "swing states"—and thus be forced to endure repetitive and vulgar campaign ads and repetitive and vulgar coverage of presidential candidate visits.

George McGovern, the not-really "cowardly left-winger" beaten by the very much corrupt Richard Nixon in 1972, finally died this morning after days of a hospice death watch. Perfect timing, I'd say, for reading long obituaries over coffee and breakfast meats. He was 90.

Iran and the United States are maybe about to sit down for one-on-one nuclear talks, but probably after the presidential election, the NYT reports. Everyone's still denying the breakthrough, officially, but Obama aides have spent the past three-plus years secretly laying the groundwork, part of a last-ditch bid to avert war.

Syria's contagious civil war, which spread to Lebanon last week with a bomb attack, now leads to a thousands-strong protest and rally outside government buildings (including tear gas and batons and bullets), following a funeral for the victims in the bomb attack.

The same rule that applies to male genitalia—it's not so much the size as what it can do—applies to the Afghan security forces trained by the United States. We've hit the target for recruits, it's just that they're all terrible.

Rider by rider, the cone of protection shielding Lance Armstrong from doping allegations was made to crumble by persistent investigators.

An English housewife, raised by monkeys as a child and taught to catch and eat animals with her tiny hands, is writing a book about it.

Two off-duty Florida cops shot dead a naked woman who confronted them at an afternoon party. Was she armed? Maybe, but no one is saying with what.

Gloria Allred—who, during the 2010 California governor's race, busted Romney protege Meg Whitman for lying about, and then treating cruelly, an undocumented maid—is once again scaring the poop out of Republicans.