GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN!Yeek! Yeek! Whoop! Whoop! I ain't playin' around. Make one false move and I'll take ya down. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

It's bluff calling time! The President goes back to his pre-campaign promise, warning that if our suicidal congress doesn't fall in line to help avoid the oncoming "fiscal cliff," Obama's going straight to the American people.

Obama is inviting Mitt Romney to the White House this Thursday for a "private lunch" where no press will be allowed. MAKE HIM EAT HOT DOGS OFF A PAPER PLATE!

Twin car bombs in Damascus kill 34.

The New York Nanny accused of stabbing two children to death when she was supposed to be taking care of them, has entered a plea of "not guilty."

Obama puts a temporary stop on all federal contracts with BP Oil, citing their "lack of business integrity." Burrrrrn.

19-year-old Angus T. Jones (the "half" of Two and a Half Men) apologizes to the cast and crew for calling his show "filth"—this would be the same show that gives him a hefty paycheck of $350,000 per filthy episode.

According to survivors, managers in the Bangladesh garment factory that burned down killing 112, told workers to keep at their jobs, claiming it was a false alarm.

Some of the clothing that was being made in that murderous factory? Brands from Walmart, Disney, Sears, and Sean "P Diddy" Combs.

SQUEEEEEE!! Jessica Simpson is pregnant again!! SQUEEEEEEE!!! (Now, who exactly is Jessica Simpson again?)

Yay! The Mercury Cover Art Charity Auction—where you can bid on and win super cool art featured on the covers of the Mercury to benefit charity—starts today at 3pm! Stand by for details!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Light rain on and off from now until... forever?

And finally, courtesy of everyone in the world, here's a KGW blooper featuring an interview with a woman who let the vacuum cleaner man see her tits. Another reason why you love Portland!