If you're not following Jose Canseco on Twitter, do yourself a gigantic favor and get over there now. It's the most glorious train wrecky celebrity experience you'll ever get. Most of the time he's insanely positive (Do u ever wake up and say to yourself. I'm a bad mother$@/:, I do.), insanely deep (If today was yesterday and today is tomorrow then how will tommorow be.) or sometimes just insane (Is it possible to be unlucky your whole life and lucky the rest of your life). Is he kidding? Probably not?

But one of the best things I've ever read on the Internet was his list of his top 10 New Year's Resolutions (actually 11) that he tweeted the night before last. Here they are in order.

1. spend more time with my daughter
2. get stronger and fitter
3. help people who are getting screwed wherever i can
4. return to pro baseball as player or manager and have dinners with McGwire, La Russa, Bonds, and Selig.
5. Fight Shaq in MMA cage match
5. develop and launch Ponce de CAnseco a real anti aging drink
6. Get elected to a important political office in the U.S. or canada to help all people and governments with there problems
7. Become a world class entreprenur and found at least two great companies that make peoples lives better and funner
8. Write a third book and do a move deal for Juiced!
9. Do at least 100 promotional deals for good companies and products like Animal Rights, Human health, Environmental, and Beer companies
10. Use position as A List entertainer doing reality, TV, movies, blogs, columns, appearances to be able to do more charity

I'm especially fond of #3 and the first #5. I also had "Fight Shaq" on my list, but he's more likely to actually do it. #9 is pretty mystifying. Is "Animal Rights" a company or a product? #10 is awesomely un-self-aware and, including #6, is the second miss-use of the letter a in the list.