Originally published May 24, 2007:

I'm married to a woman I love, but our sex life has become unbearable. We watched an HBO show about women strapping on dildos and doing their husbands. That inspired my wife to buy a strap-on dildo. Once would have been fine, but for the last year she only wants me to get off by masturbating while she does me with the strap-on. She masturbates herself while using the strap-on. She refuses counseling and insists I am being a prude. Does her selfishness signal some deeper problem?

Hurting In North Denver

My response after the jump...

I'm going to assume your letter is legit, HIND, and not the fevered imaginings of a straight guy with fem-dom fantasies. Your wife has some serious sexual-control issues, HIND, and you have some serious doormat issues. Unless you're tied to the bed, your wife can't fuck your ass if you don't let her. I get the impression you've been saying, "If you don't stop fucking my ass sometime soon, honey, I'm going to be very upset." When what you need to say is, "Once in a while, maybe, but I didn't sign up for this." The next time she bounds into the bedroom wearing her strap-on, get your ass out of bed and walk out the door.