When I checked in at the casino I was performing at the other day, I was handed this note. I'm used to stern talks from managers about what I can / can't say, especially at casinos, but this is my favorite so far.


Grammar aside, I'm pretty bummed about not being able to act out sexually. That's how I rebelled in high school and I still do it from time to time, usually when I get nervous.

How does one prepare for an older crowd? Lots of Ensure? Extra O2 tank? Or do you just mean emotionally? Like I should just steel myself against a bunch of disappointed looks.

And my favorite is that there are only two things they don't want you to wear: ratty clothes and tuxedos. Some jerk wore a tuxedo and ruined it for everybody. Probably a magician.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm working at a steak house tonight that didn't forbid me from acting out sexually and I have some supplies to purchase.