Guilty verdicts came down this morning for two high school football players in Ohio who raped an obviously intoxicated girl after a party. The boys apologized after the jury delivered its judgments, ending a trial filled with awful recriminations about the blacked-out victim and how drunk someone has to be so as not to be considering consenting.

Declassified tapes! Richard Nixon sabotaged Vietnam War peace talks in 1968 to win the presidency! Lyndon Johnson was a shrug away from helicoptering onto the roof the Democratic convention in Chicago and re-entering the presidential race!

The corpse of Hugo Chavez, in an about-face by the Venezuelan government, will remain on permanent display—but only to the opaque insides of a coffin, and maybe some flesh-eating microbes.

It's considered a political victory in Pakistan when a prime minister can finish a single term in office without arrest, assassination, or other kind of ouster.

Meet the new/old Russian police: "The Kremlin is dipping into a deep pool of history: Cossacks are revered here for their bravery and premodern code of honor, like cowboys in the United States or samurai in Japan. But their legacy is bound up with battle and vigilante-style violence, including campaigns against Turks, Jews and Muslim highlanders."

Life would improve for Israel if only the United States would agree to bomb Syria.

Karl Rove answers Sarah Palin's hillbilly chum with mockery and false piety. I'm answering both with a deposit of bile in my toilet.

Smart, academically talented poor kids tend not to apply to elite universities and often don't graduate from the lesser schools they do attend. Good for America's growing wealth disparity, but not so good for America.

Everything you ever wanted to know about the Hawthorne Bridge bike counter but didn't care to ask.

Those normal-looking mannequins
all over social media last week were fakes.

The new pope is a Jesuit. Funny thing, though: Jesuits are supposed to eschew wealth and advancement.

"Welcome to a world where Google knows exactly what sort of porn you all like, and more about your interests than your spouse does. Welcome to a world where your cell phone company knows exactly where you are all the time. Welcome to the end of private conversations, because increasingly your conversations are conducted by e-mail, text, or social networking sites."

Science! An arm, an arm, a penis for an arm!