GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Now a square with a horn can make you wish you weren't born, ever'time he plays; and with a square in the act, he can set music back to the caveman days. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

According to the GOP's new plan, they're finally starting to get the idea that their fractured party will never get anywhere unless they kick out the hillbillies who are woefully out of step with the rest of the country.

Cops step into a dorm room on a central Florida college campus, and find a dead body and a bag full of bombs. SPRING BREAK!

Two teens are convicted in the Steubenville rape casemore investigations are underway.

Unsurprisingly, CNN's coverage of the Steubenville rape convictions focused on the perpetrators rather than the victim, and is pretty disgusting.

A private jet slams into a Southbend, Indiana suburb killing two.

Rapper Tone Loc collapses at a concert, an apparent victim of the "Funky Cold Medina."

Euro financiers are watching nervously as Cyprus ministers revise their plan to seize money from bank accounts to pay for a bailout—or fall into default.

Hillary Clinton publicly backs gay marriage. Welcome to the party, Hillary! Did you bring anything to drink?

Sorry George W.! A new poll reveals that most Americans agree that invading Iraq 10 years ago was "a mistake." Good luck with that legacy!

In case you missed it, the Gossip's Beth Ditto was arrested late Friday night in Portland for disorderly conduct. Sounds like a fun night out!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Sunny/cloudy today with on and off showers the rest of the work week. YOU KNOW THE DRILL.

And finally, in the History Channel's The Bible miniseries (created and produced by conservative Mark Burnett) the character of Satan looks kind of like somebody... but I can't quite put my finger… IT'S OBAMA!! (Subtle!)