Sorry, Gerard Butler. Not even.

I hereby predict that—much as a dumb cartoon about giant fighting robots proved to be a perfect fit for the sensibilities of Michael Bay—a similar bit of inane providence shall strike with White House Down, which seems to dovetail with Roland Emmerich's tastes for patriotic jingoism, mass destruction, and hammy sentiment to a degree we haven't witnessed since Independence Day.

Also, new ringtone: "Wegottago wegottago wegottago!"