• Amazon

This article from Jezebel came out well after April 1st, and the Amazon links are real, so I have to suspect this is genuine. I can't decide if this is in the "the less said about it, the better" or "the more said about it, the better" camps. I'll just lay it at your feet and let it inspire the wealth of puns, wisecracks, and cleverly-named imaginary cocktails that are just begging to flow forth from this thing like so much... anyhow. I can easily see the energy put into this bringing the nation, and the Internet, to its knees.

If you're so inspired, why not fill the comments with article-inspired drink names? I'll seed the round: Miltini. The Revenge of Dr. Monkey Gland. Downtown Jim's Abracadabra Floater. The Shamed Matador. Go.