Sports! I don't like it any better than you, but it's Saturday morning and there's all this interesting sports stuff happening. Bear with me. Nukes and disease and puppies coming up.


A 14-year-old golfer from China keeps making history. He was the youngest player to qualify for The Masters, which is a big golf tournament at an odious Georgia course. Then on Friday, he made "the cut," qualifying to play through the weekend. Golf types are breathless about this. But Guan Tianglang? Totally chill.

Meanwhile, Tiger Woods is being shady.

There are a lot of opinions on NBA superstar Kobe Bryant in this town, and probably most of them aren't too charitable. So take how you will news of the Lakers guard's potentially career-ending injury Friday night. At very least, Kobe's not gonna play any more this season. Not so different from the Blazers in that regard.

You want more? I could do more.

Boom. A-Rod doping scandal, maybe.

Ok. Done.

The US has secured China as a partner in efforts to denuclearize—and in general just sort of calm down—North Korea. "Secured" being a relative term. As the AP points out: "China has a history of quickly reversing course after talking tougher with North Korea."

Bird flu, which took the world by storm in the mid-aughts, might be staging a comeback. Chinese officials are reporting a string of infections that have plagued the eastern part of the country are no longer localized. A 7-year-old girl in Beijing is the latest victim. There's no evidence of human-to-human transmission, but the virus is mutating quickly.

An Indonesian air liner carrying more than 100 passengers overshot a runway while landing in Bali today, crashing into the sea. Everyone survived, though some passengers were hospitalized. As Agence France-Presse helpfully reported: "Many passengers arrived with wet clothes and bruises." Thanks, AFP. I think we all understand what happens when your plane CRASHES INTO THE SEA.

I can't back up that earlier claim about puppies. In retrospect it was reckless.

But here's a snapshot of my weather widget. Yeah. Thanks, weekend.


Lastly, my friend thinks this is amazing. It left me underwhelmed and maybe a little bit angry. What do YOU think? (Definitely NSFW, but if you're working today maybe play it anyway. FULL BLAST.)