I got lots and lots of wedding advice from readers of my hilarious article The Hitching Post and its Blogtown predecessors. Thanks to everybody who commented, e-mailed me, tried to sell me their wedding venue on Twitter, and talked about me on the Portland Weddings Facebook Group.
I've decided I'm going to take ALL OF THE ADVICE. It's the only fair thing to do, loyal readers. Here are just some of the great ideas you've had for me:
 Pay for it myself. Several people were upset that our parents are paying for our wedding. You guys are totally right. I'm going to tell my future father in law to shove his generosity just so nobody thinks less of me.
 Hire a wedding planner. Thanks for the suggestion, wedding planners!
 Stay away from wedding planners. Everybody who isn't a wedding planner agrees, they're not necessary.
 Elope. It's the only way I can guarantee no wedding planners will get near me.
 Taste way more cakes. Thanks for the suggestion, bakers!
 Make my own cake. Thanks for the suggestion, Betty Crocker!
 Have Voodoo doughnuts or pie instead of cake. Thanks for the suggestion, people with terrible taste in dessert!
 Skip the cake entirely. Everybody has an opinion about the cake, including the woman who said nobody cares about the cake. So the only thing to do is skip it entirely.
 Not get married at all. Thanks for the suggestion, single/divorced people!
 Invite one lucky Blogtown reader to my wedding. Email a picture of your butt (or somebody else's butt) to editor Wm. Steven Humphrey right here and he'll pick his favorite one. If you don't hear back right away, send him another picture of a butt.
 Have a good time and don't listen to anybody. I think this one's a paradox, but it was the most popular suggestion so I'll try to take that one while still doing all the others.
Any more ideas? Post them in the comments along with a picture of a butt.