Every once in a while you answer a letter from the aunt or the parent of a teenage girl who want to provide their daughter with sex toys but don't know how to do it without embarrassment on both sides overwhelming good intentions. Well I was watching some porn the other day and I saw the answer: the video was of a woman masturbating with a vibrating hair brush. Curious, I did a quick search and found that such a brush is readily available for sale. They advertise how good the vibration is for the scalp—maybe it is (who knows or cares)—but I think these hair brushes are purchased for stimulating the scalp about as often as those heavy-duty vibrators are purchased for sore neck muscles. My point is this: parents can pretend they think their sweet daughter is going to use it on her head, and she can pretend she's using it on her head. Everyone involved will be spared embarrassment and young ladies out there will get some needed and safe relief.

Luckily teenage boys don't never a similar problem—nobody questions us about we go through a full bottle of "hand lotion" every two weeks.

Porn Is Good

My response after the jump...


I doubted you, PIG, but look what popped right up when I Googled "vibrating hairbrush":


So, hey, what do you know: vibrating hairbrushes exist and they could be the face-saving answer for embarrassed parents and their mortified daughters. But with bristles on one side and rows of glossy black spider eyes on the other, PIG, I'm not sure that this particular hairbrush—vibrating or not—is gonna be popular among teenage girls. I'm also not sure about the ad copy:

Use to massage the body and scalp. Specially designed contoured bumps and two levels of vibration deliver soothing tactile and somatosensory stimulation. Recommended for ages 1 and up. Requires 2 "AA" batteries (not included). Do not immerse in water.

Ages 1 and up? Really, Mansion Athletics? You recommend your vibrating, spider-eyed hairbrush for use by infants? That's almost as creepy as the creepiest sex toy of all time: the Pocket Altar Boy.