After years of fighting with the court system and religious conservatives, Plan B will finally be available to all ages without a prescription. Now that they can market to a wider and younger demographic, Teva Pharmeceuticals is considering a rebranding to call it: "Mama's Little Time Machine," "Baby-B-Gone," or "Whoops, I Did It Again!"

South Korean president Park Geun-Hye apologized this week for her now former spokesman groping a 21-year-old Korean American while they were on tour in the US. Though the former spokesman and master groper Yoon Chang-jung did make a public apology, he insisted that he was not guilty, stating that his grabbing her buttocks was a “cultural difference.” Apparently in South Korea, shaking one's buttock means "much obliged," whereas a handshake means "let's fuck."

Three Iowa religious scholars wrote an op-ed to their local paper this week, reminding everyone that nowhere in the Bible is marriage defined by “one man and one woman.” However, there ARE passages that mention “self-induced castration and celibacy." This also incidentally explains why Michele and Marcus Bachmann haven't had sex in months.

Last Week in Sex, we twaddled about former Glee star Charice Pompengco coming out as a lesbian. This week in sex, her mother Raquel Pompengco told the news network “Bandila” that SHE'S the lesbian. “"I'm the lesbian — until my mom sent me off to my husband and [Charice's] father. I told Charice this before, I told her that I experienced what it's like, too. But then I changed." To settle the dispute, they will enter a new reality TV contest “Want to Be on Top?,” an elimination-based contest to see who’s really the lesbian. They will compete alongside Amanda Bynes, Missy Elliott, Hannah Montana, and Peppermint Patty.

If you've ever thought to yourself while staring at the "sexual enhancers" in the 7 Eleven checkout line, "Yikes, those can't be good for you," then you were right! The FDA warned the public this week that the products Reload, Get It Up, Super Cheetah, Cave Diver, Nights to Remember and X Zen Platinum are all tainted. "Sildenafil and tadalafil," prescription drugs found in Viagra and Cialis, were found in all six products, and can cause dangerously low blood pressure, as well as many other negative side effects. Little did they know that "Super Cheetah" is known for giving men red spots all over their skin, and "Nights to Remember" refers to its likelihood of rampant diarrhea.