Tuesday's at the Mercury SUUUUUUCK!

I just type and click, type and click, type and click, fart on Erik the film editor's mouse when he's not looking, type and click, all day until the paper is sent to the printer and I finally get to go home and pet my kitty (knowhattamean?).

Sometimes I just need a break.

Here's how I take a break
Push my whip back (that's my desk chair).
Stand up and walk away from the desk.
Take my clothes off in the office bathroom and put a wetsuit on.
Ask officemates if they want to go with me (no takers, just one gawker with a camera).
Ride the elevator from the 6th floor down to the lobby.
Walk two blocks to Waterfront Park.
Go a little further to the Steel Bridge.
Walk to the halfway point on the lower level of the bridge.
Grab the railing and fling myself off the bridge.
Fall until I think I'm dead.
Splash.
Come up for air.
Swim to the shore.
Walk back to the office.
Shower in the bathroom.
Put dry clothes back on.
Sit back in my whip.
Get back to work.

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lunch2.jpg

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This is all probably illegal, so don't do it (Wussy!). [OF COURSE IT'S ILLEGAL, JESUS CHRIST!—editor]