It's back! Welcome to the triumphant return of the Blogtown series we like to call "Worst. Night. Ever." Every Wednesday during our weekly "My, What a Busy Week!" pitch meetings, someone suggests an event which is the equivalent of throwing acid in our eyes—but we also realize a more enlightened person might love it! Hence, these "risky" events are often unfairly pushed aside. WELL, NO MORE. Instead of allowing what could be entirely worthy events to vanish forever, we're asking you—yes, YOU—the Blogtown readers to decide which of these events one of us should attend... whether we like it or not!

Every week an editorial staff member will be presented with three events that do not match their personality or interests... like, AT ALL. And here's the fun part: YOU will vote on and pick the event that must be attended by our unlucky staffer. Afterward he or she will review it right here on the blog! NOTE: Everyone's taste is different, right? So while Dirk might enjoy nothing more than a rousing afternoon of bike-based ballet, it might send Marjorie into rageful fits! That's why you might find a perfectly pleasant event or two in the list below. Also, competitors must stay for at least two hours (or until the event is over, whichever comes first) and are not allowed to get drunk, or use any substances (drugs) or distractions (phone/reading material) to dull the pain they may experience. Now let's see who is up this week:

Managing Editor Marjorie Skinner's Worst. Night. Ever.

Ooh. Marjorie's a tough one. Marjorie likes shoes, foreign films, and furry things like kitties, puppies, and Tom Jones. Having gone to Reed and having extensively covered the city's artsiest and fashion-iest scenes, she's become accustomed to (if not downright tolerant of) Portland's most irritating attributes. The woo-woo gemstone spirit-quest stuff does not seem to bother her. The Paleo diet does not faze her. And Marjorie famously attended what has got to be the worst of all the Worst. Night. Ever.s we've ever done, an overnight hippie rave in the rain, without completely losing her shit. So what will you elect for Marjorie's Worst. Night. Ever. this time? Vote wisely, Blogtown!

GEAR Con 2013
"GEAR Con is Portland, Oregon’s annual celebration of all things steampunk." Stovepipe hats and curlicue moustaches abound at this collection of Portland's most whimsical activities, in which a bunch of enthusiastic guttersnipes and cutpurses don Victorian-era heavy wool, sport eyeliner, and converse with each other in affected olde-timey speak. Marjorie will have to soak in as much parlor conjuring, masquerading, and corsets as she can on Sunday afternoon, and also attend the festival's highlight: the Victorian Martial Arts Symposium and Bartitsu Workshop. What's "Bartitsu," you ask, scallywag? It's Sherlock Holmes-y type fighting with umbrellas and sticks of wood. Behold this demonstration from Vancouver, BC's Academie Duello:

A Peruvian Style Fire Ceremony
On Sunday night, at an undisclosed location, this is happening: "Come join us to experience a Peruvian style Fire Ceremony. This is a powerful way to release worries and heavy energies, call in what is needed, and express prayers and gratitude. I am honored to share this beautiful and potent ritual with you. Join in receiving Fire Energy, with song, drums, rattles, and ritual." It sounds like Marjorie will need to bring her own marshmallows.

The Vancouver Rodeo
Marjorie hates animal cruelty in all its forms, so the Vancouver Rodeo might really make her squirm. Starting today and with performances through Saturday, it offers calf roping, steer wrestling, and mutton bustin' (which is kids riding sheep, pictured at right—adorable to you and me, potentially horrifying to Marjorie). She will need to bear witness to all of it.

It's time to choose Marjorie's Worst. Night. Ever., Blogtown. Polling closes at noon on Friday!