Don't get me wrong—I'll attend whatever you guys send me to, and I'll do my best to write it up in an entertaining manner.

But in the interests of a Worst. Night. Ever. that even has a chance of going beyond the now cliched "Well, that was a little uncomfortable, but actually totally fine," I'm going to (SELFLESSLY AND MASOCHISTICALLY, I might add, YOU'RE WELCOME) urge you to read Marjorie's descriptions of the possible events a tiny bit more carefully before voting ends in a half hour. Worst. Night. Ever. is only as worst as you make it, and so far I'm lucking out.