Here we have Carly Rae Jepsen—she of the 2012 summer jam "Call Me Maybe"—absolutely butchering the ceremonial first pitch before the Houston Astros/Tampa Bay Rays game.

Here we have Shia LaBeouf eye-boning a motorcycle driver at a stop light. STOP EYE-BONING ME, SHIA LABEOUF!!

Here we have incontrovertible evidence that Justin Bieber is/was/always will be bigger than Kurt Cobain.

GOOD DAY, KIDS OF TODAY.