Worst. Night. Ever.: Enter the Dungeon!


DT: Hey! Watch it with the f-bombs! You're breaking bureau policy!!

Cop: Mind your own motherfucking business, sir! Wait a minu--... Is that you, Theriault?! And what the fuck is that on your head?!? Is that a golden dildo?!?

Other cop: (shaking his head) Goddamn Mercury fucks.
Welp, I'm aroused.

(It was the pancakes part)
"I signed up to be dominated" is how Dirk told his friends about his new job.
The reason you were so cool with it? Probably because none of this stuff is as humiliating as the fact that you work for the Mercury.
That was very impressive and brave. You let yourself be exposed in a very uncomfortable situation, but went through with it. Screw all the other comments. And maybe you and your mate might find some new fun in your relationship, but hopefully for you, less painfull. Great story and keep writing for the Mercury. They really need people like you on the staff!!!!!!!
Denis, I'm absolutely sincere when I say that your specific brand of logorrhea is the best kind. Tip of the hat.
You can screw my comment if you like, Denis. And that first pic should totally be the cover of your memoir.
No one who has kids really needs to go find a worse night ever feature.
Hi Denis! I was the "The intake volunteer told me not to be feel weird about it, because this wasn't about sex." I love your take and experience at the party: Entertainingly written, and thought you captured the feel of the event fairly well, and didn't go for cheap sarcasm or negativity. I'm glad that it wasn't the worst night ever. I didn't go to the foam party (I'm always so tired after "intaking" guests into the Dungeon, getting my ass spanked and dancing to what I would NOT call industrial music), so am glad it was fun. Folks: If the party sounded interesting to you, come down! It really is not a scary place, and is generally quite sexy.