SQUEEEEE! Last night was the penultimate (which means "second to last"—I know this because I learn just enough to pretend to be smart) episode of Breaking Bad... and holy crap. ANOTHER gut-puncher. Let's talk all about it after the jump, and be sure to pipe up with your own opinions in the comments! LET'S START CHITTY-CHATTING!
- Courtesy AMC
- "NO, I'm NOT smoking crack! I'm picking the lock on my handcuffs! Why do you people always think the worst of meeeee???"
Now here's what I'm thinking about last night's episode called "Granite State."
1) But first! Two things to squeeeeee about: Breaking Bad wins the Emmy for best drama (SQUUEEE!) and two... ROBERT MOTHERFUCKING FORSTER??? SQUEEEEEEE!!
2) We join the action with Saul joining Walt in Robert Forster's Vacuum Repair and Disappearing Shop (ask for it by name!). Immediately Walt tries to get Saul to hire some murderers to bump off the Skinhead Family Robinson who kidnapped Jesse and killed Hank. But Saul is all like, "You're an idiot... just disappear. Byeeee!" Bye, Saul!
3) Robert Forster (squeeee!) sneaks Walt off to the titular "Granite State" (New Hampshire) to hole him up in a cozy wintry cabin, warning him that if he leaves he'll get arrested. Walt is all like, "Fuck that, I've got me some murderers to hire!" So he plops on his Heisenberg hat, and walks down to the gate, where... he chickens out. BAWWWK! BAWWWK! Buh-KAAWWW!
4) Meanwhile Skyler is trapped, too—in the lawyers office where she is being threatened by the feds to give up Walt. Even though she has no idea where he is. It seems the lawyers don't have the same power of persuasion as the Skinhead Family Robinson (led by Meth Damon), who sneaks into baby Holly's nursery and let's Skyler know in no uncertain terms that if she spills the beans about Lydia that they'll be back—and they won't be carrying a pack of Pampers!
4) Meanwhile back in the Skinhead Family Robinson pit, Jesse uses the paperclip off the picture of Andrea to escape his cuffs, and make a run for it. (Even after Meth Damon brought him ice cream?? That unthankful prick!) Unfortunately he's caught, and for his crime, he gets to watch Meth Damon shoot Andrea in the head. (Emmy consideration for Jesse next year! Seriously, his performance here is heart-wrenching.)
5) After probably taking a shower and shaving, the smitten Meth Damon (wearing a crisp blue shirt) meets Lydia at the coffee shop who is VERY upset that Skyler isn't currently residing in Belize. She threatens to dump Meth Damon... until he tells her that his brand of Heisenberg meth is at 96 percent. Maybe there's a chance for these two lovebirds after all!
6) So it's a month later, and Walt is going nutso in the New Hampshire cabin. When Robert Forster (SQUEEE!) visits, it inspires Walt to ship some money to Walt Junior. Unlike me, Walt Junior says "Screw your stupid money, dad! I hate you, you killed Uncle Hank, you ruined my life... and, true, that sweet car you bought me was pretty nice, but... no! I HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU WISH YOU'D DIE! (Click)"
7) Walt is drowning his sorrows at the bar when (major coincidence alert) he happens to see his former business partners Gretchen and Elliott Schwartz (Remember them? It pays to watch the entire series.) shit-talking him on the Charlie Rose Show, claiming he didn't have anything to do with the company except the name! And Walt is like, "OH HELL NO." He calls the DEA, let's them know where he is, and when the cops get there? HE IS GONE-ZO.
8) So what's next for Walt? Now that there's no reason to raise money for his family following Walt Junior's hissy fit, is Walt gonna open up a major can of whup-ass on everyone who's slighted him, which includes, but is not limited to, the Skinhead Family Robinson AND those asshole traitors Gretchen and Elliott? But why is he sneaking back to his abandoned house to get the ricin? Will he end up rescuing Jesse? Is he going to try one last heroic action to redeem himself? Or is he too much of a dick to be saved? And perhaps most importantly, is anyone EVER going to let Saul's bodyguard Huell out of that hotel room?
9) These questions will be answered and more NEXT WEEK in the sure to be startling series conclusion of Breaking Bad! Let me know what you're thinking in the comments! Robert Forster! SQUEEEEEE!!!
- Courtesy AMC
- "Walt gets Robert Forster, and I get a room full of dickhead lawyers. TYPICAL."