GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Give me that thing that I love (I'll turn the lights on). Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (make it real loud). LET'S GO TO PRESS.

World leaders have a message for American Republicans: "Dear hillbillies, please fix the debt crisis. You're fucking things up for EVERYONE. (Why are we even talking to them? If they don't care about their own people, why would they care about us? Never mind!!)"

Possible good news from one moderate Democrat in the Senate: According to him a deal to end the government shutdown in 70-80 percent done. But don't worry, America—Republicans will think of some way to fuck it up.

A "Million Vet March" (which was nowhere near a million) turned into a Teabagger rally, with one conservative confusingly telling the President to "get out of town, and put the Quran down." Apparently they don't realize it's entirely their fault we're in this mess.

A Brit is arrested for trying to break into Buckingham Palace while carrying a knife. I don't mean to sound dismissive, but that just sounds quaint compared to the crazies of this country.

Three Americans win the Nobel Prize for Economics—so let's congratulate the guys and then never, ever listen to them.

Days before going head to head for a Senate seat against very popular Democrat Cory Booker, New Jersey Republican Steve Lonegan brings in his last and final hope for victory: Sarah Palin?!? May Lonegan rest in peace.

Horrifying headline of the day: "2-year-old boy has twin's fetus removed." GAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

The German "Bishop of Bling" has a lot of explaining to do to the humility-driven Pope Francis.

In case you missed Blogtown this weekend: Brian Gjurgevich covered the Timbers/Sounders game; Denis told you about one-time city commissioner and mayoral hopeful Jim Francesconi running for Jeff Cogen's old county chair; the Blazers join the Timbers in supporting same-sex marriage (thanks to a little prompting from the Mercury... blush); and an insane comment war is waging over on Barbara Holme's blog post. Nice job, Babs!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Sunny all week, with highs hitting 70 by Wednesday! Woo-hoo!

And finally, who wants to see Tom Hanks (and Sandra Bullock) reenact the Big "chopsticks scene" in which they dance on the piano? Perhaps THE WORLD? Okay, then. Here ya go.