- Image by Erika Moen
The actual text: âHeyâ
This is a person I have a certain type of relationship with; I know what he means. You donât make small talk with Santa Claus, do you? You say âHereâs what I want.â So is it with the subtle, beautiful booty text relationship. My problem with this brief message is not its brevity or casualness⌠itâs the lack of imagination.
I surveyed a small group of hetero lady friends (as the hetero males seem to be the number one unimaginative Booty Text perpetrators) about their worst Booty Text. Here are the worst and/or most frequent texts in pursuit of booty.
âHow about a little hump day fun?â -sent on a Wednesday (ugh)
âWhen can I cum eat ur pussyâ
âHey, Missed me?;)â
âHappy Hour?â -sent at 2am
âexcuse me, is your bed taken?â
âYou up?â
âYou free?â
âYou around?â
âHey.â
âHey Heyâ
âHi thereâ
Donât make me say "no" just to invalidate your dumb-ass ideas of what sexy is. Itâs not fair! A good booty text is pretty simple: Be vulnerable! Be bold! Be playful and funny! To inspire your brief lusty shouts into the void, Iâve enlisted some local writers, comedians, and pro-tweeters:
âWebMD says my junk might be broken forever. Can I get a second opinion?â-@Alex_Falcone
âCome over and be the little spoon while we watch that Disney version of Robin Hood with those hot foxes.â-@RorynotRoy
âWe've got tonight, who needs tomorrow. And I promise not to cry afterwards this time.â-Tommy Gaffney
"I think my dick needs some 'youâ time."-@WalkerNicolas
âI want to do that thing you said we could do when my ankle healed. Also, I bought the 'item.'â-@Jason_Rouse
"I'm not tryna fuck, but if that's what has to happen for us to spoon together all night, then you could probably convince me." -@Curtis_Cook
And if that wasnât enough to get your loverâs engine, going try this⌠âIâll buy breakfastâ-@bripruett
Wishing you great love and good sex,
Bri