The Oregonian announced today that on April 2, they will be switching from their regular broadsheet size to a new "compact format," which will be 15 inches tall by 11 inches wide—HEY, WAIT A SECOND!! THAT'S THE EXACT SAME SIZE AS THE MERCURY! (I had no idea we were "compact.") From the O:

The compact format allows for full color on every page. “With color on every page and a streamlined design, the compact will be a richer experience for our readers,” said Anderson.

See? See how you're going to like this so much better? Hmmm. I think you need some more convincing.

"The traditional broadsheet format was due for an upgrade," said Peter Bhatia, Oregonian Media Group's vice president of content. "Today's readers want a more convenient and efficient way to consume the news that matters to them. With the new compact format, we're presenting the same quality journalism in a smarter package.”

Thanks for calling the Mercury's package smart. Now for some reason, the O buries the most important sentence in the sixth paragraph.

The type size will not change.

So breathe a sigh of relief, Oregonian's primary demographic! You probably won't have to use one of these things. And with fewer words, you won't have to waste so much of your time... you know... reading! IN A RELATED STORY: The Mercury responded to the O's news by changing their size to a broadsheet, and publishing a completely worthless "Food Day" to throw at your front porch.