I Don't Get Why You're Worried About the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


Bobby, this may be the best goddamn thing you've ever written. Consider this the internet comment version of standing and applauding.
"general dismissal of your whole existence by anyone taller than five feet" A scenario that Bobby has yet to escape from.
That TMNT animated movie was pretty good but I forgot how good of a voice cast it has. Everyone from Darkwing Duck to Fem Shep is in that thing.
I hate that Michael Bay made shitty versions of Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Transformers—hell, shitty versions of actual historical events like Pearl Harbor—and is still making shitty movies off of fan-tested successes enough to skate by and collect a pay check.

My childhood will, as you mentioned, always be my childhood. And I'm fine with that and whatever comes out. That does not mean that Michael Bay doesn't suck though.
Michael Bay did an awesome remake of The Clonus Horror.
Great article with the exception of propagating the idea that turtles are Amphibians (the cartoon used to do this too). They are reptiles.
Fixed. Thanks, Mole.
If we're talking TMN turd~les, we must mention the "Coming Out Of Our Shells" Tour. Also Bobby Roberts and Drunken G B- will they or won't they already!