This is a very special week for the Mercury Letters Page! It's not every week we have the pleasure of printing a missive from a prominent local figure—their words are usually relegated to the interviews that populate the rest of our output. But before we get to that:

—A comment led to a letter, which begat more letters, and here we are, back on the fluoride tip. This time, however, the dominating tone has shifted, to readers like Charles and Ryan, who point out that Jenny McCarthy and her ilk are "denying the effectiveness of one of the most successful public health campaigns in the history of our species." Oh.

—Okay, but then!! In response to our New Column, "Puttin' on the Ritz! By Amanda Fritz"! Guess who wrote in for "clarification"?… AMANDA FRITZ!

On January 22, 2014, the Portland Mercury published a column purporting to list my snacking preferences, titled "Puttin' on the Ritz." The column bears the byline "By Amanda Fritz," and includes my photograph. I neither wrote nor authorized the column.

Sounds bad, right? But read the whole thing, which includes references to both Dr. Seuss and Cameron Whitten, and a dis against smoked oysters.

Meanwhile, Brian has other complaints about said column's snack tray suggestions, particularly in regards to the use of bay leaves as garnishes, imploring Fritz to "resign before your recall petition commences."