GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! When you see me ride by, they can see the glean, and my shine on the deck and the TV screen. LET'S GO TO PRESS.
Two building collapse in East Harlem, injuring at least 16 and killing at least two. Others are missing, and while there's no explanation yet, some residents claim they smelled gas before the explosion.
Officials remain baffled by the mystery of the disappearing Malaysian jet—but they do know this: The aircraft was hundreds of miles off its flight path.
Yet another snowy, gusty winter storm is pounding states from Illinois to Maine. (No gloating, guys!)
President Obama will be talking to the Labor Department this Thursday, asking for tougher rules on overtime. Seems some employees aren't being paid to wo... (Tweeeeeet!) Whoops, that's the end of my shift. Read the article if you're interested.
In a special election, a Republican wins a US House seat in Florida—which scares the dickens out of Democrats running for midterm elections. (Jeez, calm down! All those votes were cast by Florida Man.)
A new report on the sex trafficking industry shows that pimps make a LOT of money. Especially in cities like Atlanta, Denver, and Seattle.
Security tightens as a vote looms to either keep Crimea part of the Ukraine, or reunite it with Russia. (Though Ukraine's president says he will not send his army to stop the secession—meaning Crimea reuniting with Russia may be an eventuality.)
The theory that the Disney movie Frozen is actually pro-gay propaganda is gaining traction among more and more stupid people. (Primarily because of the song, "Let it Go"—which everyone knows is actually about farting.)
While youth may now be flocking to Obama's affordable health care nationally—Cover Oregon is once again THE WORST.
Lindsay Lohan makes a handwritten list of all her Hollywood hookups (many of whom are in relationships), and then leaves it lying around for the tabloids to find. WHOOPSIE!
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Sunny again today with a high of... 66? That's almost thong weather!
And finally, want to know the REAL truth behind Frozen? Check out another hilarious HONEST TRAILER!