Good day, Blogtown! Save yourself nine years of TV watching! Read this spoiler-filled article about a somewhat popular gimmick-driven sitcom's final episode!

Speaking of nausea, let's revisit yesterday's news about the CIA and torture, and how torture didn't help American troops capture Osama bin Laden. The 6,300-page Senate report with that finding also says the CIA lied its buns off about the actual brutality its torture programs, and that the agency's embrace of torture caused deep internal rifts. No one, of course, will be prosecuted.

NATO's noticed all those Russian troops in and around Ukraine and the Crimean Peninsula. In case that's the start of something more sinister, NATO's planning to cozy up with a few other former Soviet vassals Russia might have its eye on.

Russia might not need to pummel Ukraine into submission with an invasion. It's out to cripple its neighbor's economy by hiking natural gas prices and calling in old debts.

Guess what South Korea found wrecked on one of its border islands? An unidentified drone. What a mystery. I wonder to whom it belongs. HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK, NORTH KOREA? SOUND FAMILIAR?

Paul Ryan, the devout Roman Catholic congressman from Wisconsin, has revived a budget plan that would devastate the poor, forgotten, and infirm to slightly ease the already delightful lives of the rich.

Ted Cruz, the Texas senator who leads the Tea Party, thought it would be clever, putting up a "Boo, Obamacare" poll for all the hillbillies who like to look at his Facebook. But then regular people looked at and said that, yes, in fact, having health insurance and coverage for pre-existing conditions has made their lives better.

The missing Malaysia flight, beyond making for delightful conspiracy theories, might actually matter after all. Terrified airlines want to use it as pretext for even more pain-in-the-ass security and screening protocols.

General Motors made an awful car. General Motors has known for a very long time that it made an awful car. Yawn.

Hey, creeps! You can't use Firefox to stalk people on OKCupid anymore. The dating site has banned the browser after its parent company hired a reputed homophobe as CEO.

RIP FRANKIE KNUCKLES, "GODFATHER" OF HOUSE.