So! The new season of Game of Thrones debuts this Sunday on HBO. Wooooooo-hoooooooooooo.

[Crickets. Tumbleweeds. Screen door slamming in the distance.]

Okay, so you probably know by now that I have about as much love for Game of Thrones as I do for Portlandia. Which is probably why, while I was gone on vacation last week, the editorial department decided it would be "fun" (???) to do a special "Game of Thrones issue" in tomorrow's Mercury—also? Because they hate me.

Say what you will about my qualifications for having this job—at least I would never punish the world with an idea as idiotic as this one. The good news? It will only be on the streets for a week, and then we can go back to boring you to death with our usual horse shit.

HOWEVER! There is one great thing about Game of Thrones... this "Honest Trailer" for Game of Thrones, which is apparently full of spoilers—but if you're like me, you were never planning on wasting your life with these stupid nerd baby games in the first place. IT'S HILARIOUS, IT'S MEAN, IT'S AWESOME, AND IT'S TRUE. (And I love the way the narrator pronounces "boobs.") Watch.