Oregonians apparently hate condoms. Multnomah County has seen a tenfold increase in syphilis cases over the past seven years. Enjoy your breakfast.

So, another through-line links the two Fort Hood shootings—besides the location and growing concerns about whether veterans enduring mental health crises have access to adequate treatment. It's a massive gun emporium accurately named Guns Galore. The store sold the guns used in Ivan Lopez's shooting this week and in Nidal Hassan's far more deadly shooting in 2009. In 2011, a soldier accused of a bomb plot bought his gunpowder there.

Senator Ron Wyden suggested how we might feel after reading through the publicly accessible portions of a Senate report detailing the CIA's embrace of torture, even though torture didn't help its investigations: "I believe the American people will be profoundly disturbed."

McDonalds is pooping itself over the tension in Crimea. After a Russian lawmaker made noise about driving out American fast-food chains, the giant American fast-food chain abruptly closed its restaurants in the recently annexed region.

The Ukraine crisis, everyone's figured out, maybe was an excuse to have a coming-out party for Russia's sexier, sleeker, more competent military.

Job growth in America is still happening, but it's also still not happening as fast as economic experts keep expecting it to happen. The economy added 192,000 jobs last month.

Paula Deen is horrible? The accused racist food-TV famous person shut down one of her restaurants—sending crews in to dismantle its kitchen—without telling the people who work there first.

The TSA stripper failed to convince a federal judge that his actions were noble and done in protest of sham security theater. He plans to appeal a $500 civil fine.

"I did [it] because I wanted to kind of shock my instructor. But I also thought, you know, I wanted to learn about painting water hitting water. And it kind of shows my sense of humor, I think."

Mozilla's anti-gay-marriage CEO lasted just two weeks in the job, brought down by ire and fury over his support for California's Proposition 8.

Meanwhile, in tolerant Sellwood, the owner of a new produce shop with similarly disturbing views about marriage equality has had to promise, in the Oregonian, that her business won't discriminate against LGBTQ customers even if she's damn sure she should have to right to discriminate if she wants to.

Columbia River Crossing watchers should watch this story from the New York Times on the encroaching disappearance of federal highway money and hopes for a new push to allow widespread tolling.