The Decemberists stop by Parks and Recreation tonight for the season finale. That's the Portland band with Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) above; they're among the bevy of guest stars that appear in tonight's episode, including Jeff Tweedy as the singer for Land Ho!, the members of Yo La Tengo playing a red-sweatered Night Ranger cover band, and Michelle Obama as, presumably, Michelle Obama. The episode features Leslie Knope's long-planned Pawnee/Eagleton unity concert—which I assume the Decemberists perform at—but online reports also indicate that some or all of the episode takes place in San Francisco at a national parks conference, so your guess is as good as mine.

Also! Wm. Steven Humphrey tells me that, in the final four minutes, a shocking twist is revealed, so here are my predictions:

• Jerry/Larry dies.
• Jerry/Larry has a fart that becomes a diarrhea.
• Angry Gay Guy (Craig, I think?) midwifes a litter of kittens.
• Tom and Donna do it.
• Jean-Ralphio grows a curlicue mustache and rides the rails in a boxcar (joined, naturally, by the Decemberists).
• Andy sweetly says something comically stupid and pratfalls, as April smiles crookedly.
• Jamm pees in the Pawnee water supply, then vehemently denies it.
• It is revealed that Li'l Sebastian is in fact not a tiny pony but a cocker spaniel in a wig. The entire town riots. Perd Hapley is killed in the melee.

The Decemberists play the Crystal Ballroom on Thursday, May 29 and Friday, May 30, but in the meantime, watch these exciting plot twists (all of which are 100 percent guaranteed to happen) and more, on the season finale of Parks and Rec tonight on NBC at 8 pm. Leave your own predictions in the comments.