On the TLC show Sex Sent Me to the E.R.—why is this a surprise to you that TLC would broadcast a show like this?—tomorrow night's episode recounts the horrifying tale of a hippie who shows up to the emergency room and confesses that a "legless lizard" (??) crawled inside his penis. (Trust me, the horrendous acting in this recreation does not make the story any more believable... but it does make it twice as funny!)