Sorry, America. Your cities have basically never been savaged in foreign wars. No occupier in 200 years has put its hand around your throat. But now you know pain. Watch the brilliant header that sliced out and urinated on millions of the world's wealthiest and most entitled hearts.

The advance of the Sunni militia carving up Iraq now includes the country's main crossing with its far more stable neighbor, Jordan. Knocking out government forces down there has essentially erased Iraq's border with neighboring Syria—an important victory for a militia calling itself the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS).

President Obama has acknowledged that ISIS may yet spread beyond the two states in its mission statement, to places like Jordan and Saudi Arabia. John Kerry, America's chief diplomat, has arrived in Baghdad in hopes of exhorting Iraq's Shiite prime minister into a last-ditch loosening of the political and religious reins he's been clutching a bit too tightly. Given that Iraq's army is seen as utterly ineffective, there isn't much hope beyond that.

Mass graves, believed to be the bodies of migrants who died traveling into the United States, have been found in deep Texas. It's believe a local county board has been paying a funeral parlor to handle the unsavory task of making the corpses go away.

Maybe Moscow is coming around on the Ukraine ceasefire after all? A Ukrainian billionaire whose kid has Vladimir Putin as godfather seems to be helping along the change of heart.

The Supreme Court offered a partial victory to the president this morning—allowing the EPA to regulate greenhouse gas emissions from sources like power plants, but not as dramatically as the EPA had been hoping.

Paid maternity leave, and America's longtime lack of it, have become things that Democrats and the president suddenly care a lot about ahead of difficult midterm elections this fall. That's good. But nothing's going to change. Because of the business lobby. And Republicans.

(Secretly recorded) real talk from a top Polish minister on Poland's alliance with the United States: "Complete bullshit. We'll get in conflict with the Germans, Russians and we'll think that everything is super, because we gave the Americans a blow job. Losers. Complete losers."

A Christian rock musician convicted for plotting to kill his wife admits that he and his band had been faking their rapturous faith for, like, a very long time.

American Apparel probably never would have fired Dov Charney if he wasn't costing them so mucn money, in giant insurance payments to cover his misdeeds, in large legal bills, and in unauthorized payouts to aggrieved workers his actions sent packing.

Portland's street fee gets a helluva look by the Oregonian this morning—including a deep dive into why the formulas Portland's using to calculate what businesses might pay might not make as much sense as city officials insist.

An American in Germany got trapped inside a stone vagina sculpture.

Fake watermelons, it turns out, are a terrible way to smuggle Mexican-cartel-grown marijuana into the United States.