1. The first twenty yoghurt-covered pretzels are delicious. You can't imagine eating anything else again, ever. But the very next yoghurt-covered pretzel—the 21st yoghurt-covered pretzel—is utterly revolting. You can't imagine eating another one again, ever.

2. Can ten Chinese tourists give themselves whores' baths in an airport men's room with only three sinks? Yes, they can—and they'll cheerfully make room for one American faggot who just wants to wash his hands.

3. I watched six episodes of Girls on my flight and Lena Dunham is a fucking genius—and I don't gotta say this, and I probably shouldn't say it, but I'm gonna say it anyway: I want Adam to fuck the shit out of Elijah. It wouldn't really happen, of course, because Adam (fucking hot) is so straight and Elijah (fucking ditto) is so gay. But weirder things have happened on Girls—like Elijah fucking Marnie. That was weird. So pretty please, Lena? Maybe in a dream sequence?