Old-timey Mercury readers will remember one of our first super popular "New Column!" characters from the early 2000s, Jerry Masterson, who was an incredibly foul-mouthed third grader that enjoyed pointing out the things about his elementary school and childhood that were, as he put it, "fucked." Here's an example:


There's a lot more Jerry Masterson here.

Anyway, guess who walked into the Mercury office yesterday? JERRY MASTERSON, NOW 18 YEARS OLD.


AND LOOK HOW HANDSOME! Now some actual history: "Jerry Masterson" is actually Miles Erickson, the nephew of former Mercury Art Director Jen Davison (now Jen Wick). He lives in Seattle, and I'm forever grateful to him and his very understanding parents for letting us use his elementary school picture for that long-running series written by our staff. So what's Miles up to now? Turns out he's nothing like his imaginary character; he's a fantastic student, and a talented actor (taking the lead role in his high school's production of Urinetown).

He came into town this weekend for Pickathon, and will then be jetting off to New Zealand for a year of volunteering for WWOOF (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms), where young people travel to far flung places to learn about organic farming and work the fields in exchange for room, board, and lifetime experiences (which definitely will not be "fucked.") Hilariously, he still occasionally gets recognized as "Jerry Masterson" and still enjoys the attention. (Phew! Thanks for not suing us, Miles, and good luck with what will certainly be a "non-fucked" future.)

See also this column by Jerry's classmate, Cornelius Van Shack Armentrout.